Up Anal Mountain

It’s a long, hard road Up Anal Mountain; luckily, there are enough tunnels up the back route to make the journey a pleasurable experience. One need not look further for evidence than Haley Reed, a skinny, pale blonde who hovers somewhere between the girl next door and the slut from the wrong side of the tracks. Presented with a battery of sex toys, Reed immediately reaches for a black dildo that’s roughly the size of her forearm. She wedges the ebony monolith into her sphincters to the point where her rectum appears to have swallowed a tree. Somehow, this display of anal overreach is a mere precursor to the main event, as a trio of blood-swollen meat mallets descend upon her and paddle her face like they’re playing whack-a-mole. It’s a raw scene, filled with flabby slabs of man-flesh, one of which actually fucks Reed’s armpit in the frenzy. But as the drool-covered centerpiece at this banquet of carnality, Reed does her job, stuffing her cheeks with nuts like a squirrel hoarding for winter. Natasha Starr is a mean, lean cocksucking machine, though one that could use a bit of polishing; her tattooed body looks like a once-great monument that’s been desecrated by graffiti. Still, Starr is structurally sturdy, as evidenced by the anal piledriver she endures intact, more or less. Up Anal Mountain is worth the climb, and you can’t beat the view. To order, call 800- 763-8271 ext. 7675 or visit HustlerStore.com. —Pico D. Ribibi