Totally Lubed Massage Sex

With the COVID-19 pandemic lurching toward its one-year anniversary and plenty of people forgetting what it’s like to touch or be touched, it’s nice to be reminded that a hands-on approach to human interaction is the key to satisfaction. Like the best rubdowns, Totally Lubed Massage Sex is a slow build; the viewer’s patience is rewarded as relaxation escalates to heightened sensations. Big-titted blonde Paisley Porter’s scrawny husband treats her to an oil-slick tenderizing. Lingering shots capture him lovingly kneading her flesh as she slips into a near-somnambulistic state. Porter livens up as her sting-bean husband’s improbably massive member caresses the deep tissues of her snatch and eventually dispenses a dollop of groin goo to her tatas. Baby-faced blonde Tiffany Watson is the next slab of flesh on the table as a beefcake massage therapist works her over good. Things go off the rails after that, when pneumatic blond cougar Kenzie Taylor gets a rubdown from…wait, is that the same spindly dude who played Paisley Porter’s husband? And who is this random person in camouflage pants who momentarily wanders into the frame? Did someone fall asleep at the editing desk? Thankfully, Kayley Gunner and her all-natural, drool-inducing knockers save the day in the next scene. The sight of Gunner’s glorious, oiled-up dairy domes alone is enough to induce a boner. Despite the occasional bad touch, Totally Lubed Massage Sex will rub viewers the right way.

—Pico D. Ribibi