This Ain’t the Artist XXX

We’ve seen plenty of “This Ain’t” movies, but this time the title is truer than ever. This ain’t really a direct spoof of The Artist; it’s a compilation of scenes shot in the movie’s nostalgic style. And in case you don’t know what the hell we’re talking about, The Artist is the silent French flick that won 2011’s Best Picture Oscar because most of Hollywood wants to kiss power producer Harvey Weinstein’s ass. The backside they should really want to plant their lips on, of course, is porn celeb Katie Morgan’s. She knows how to do everything in the French style (filthy, in other words). Her lesbian scene as a ’20s flapper is like a vintage dirty postcard come to life. Vanessa Lane and Veronica Rayne prove that the classic pinup look will never die, but nothing beats Selina St. Claire’s hardcore impersonation of ’50s stag film legend Bettie Page. Let’s face it, when we finally learn to time travel, more of us will be trying to bang Bettie than save JFK. Sure, Hollywood likes to act like it’s the center of the world, but if there’s one thing Tinseltown can’t compete with, it’s those three little Xs. Get This Ain’t the Artist XXX now on page 108.