The Dark Knight XXX

Watching this at home with your pants down is a whole lot safer than going to the movies these days! This bulletproof pornification is stocked with references aimed at Batman geeks. As you might expect, the Joker is a horny poker who kicks off the nastiness by ass-fucking Batgirl (heavily latexed blonde Penny Pax). Like most of the sweaty episodes in this candy-colored flick, the scene is more labored than wild, but things loosen up some when a squealy Dani Jensen as Poison Ivy shows up for a villainous pound. She’s followed by a drooly Catwoman (tiny-nippled Aiden Ashley in a crotchless catsuit), who takes a great cum-shot right in the eye without a flinch. Now that’s a superheroine! There’s plenty of dark pomposity (known as drama in Hollywood) to wade through in this humorless spoof, but the climax with Aiden and Andy San Dimas vaginally ganging up on Dark Knight Rises baddie Bane might have a certain charm for horny psychopaths. Enjoy this flick while you’re waiting for your Kevlar to show up. Relax, it’s a joke.