Rocky XXX

There’s an ominous trend haunting our world: Porn directors are starting to think they can make actual movies, which means we’re having to suffer through more bad acting and cheesy production values than ever before. This Rocky ripoff is more like an inept remake than a parody, so don’t expect a laugh riot— at least not an intentional one. (Hey, anything’s better than another real Rocky sequel.) Andy San Dimas is no Talia Shire in the acting department, but her version of Adrian sheds the panties a lot faster, so she wins that round. As for the rest of the females, they handle their standard combinations adequately enough. There aren’t many ladies in the original movie, so don’t bother trying to figure out who these gratuitous ring groupies are supposed to be. Just be happy they know how to go down and stay down. As for the boxing scenes? They look more like drunken bar fights than title bouts, but you didn’t expect anybody to get in shape for a porn flick, did you? Hang in there for Andy’s big fuck scene; she could go the distance with Tyson. Check out our interview with Andy— also the star of our own This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX—on page 107.