Prime MILF Vol. 8

Prime MILF Vol. 8 is billed as “a celebration of mature and voluptuous MILFs in their sexual prime,” but someone might want to check the expiration date, because this offering smells a little iffy. Let’s start with Casca Akashova, a blonde with cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass and tits that look about as natural as AstroTurf. Akashova’s hyperinflated dairy domes hang from her chest like a couple of water balloons filled to bursting. Skull-faced or not, to her credit, Akashova is a spirited performer; she hoovers Ramon Nomar’s pork sword like it’s a spigot on the Fountain of Youth and yips away in high-decibel histrionics as Nomar puts her through her paces. Even so, unless jerking off to Skeletor cartoons is your idea of a good time, this scene will probably have you reaching for the fast-forward button on your remote instead of your zipper. Top-heavy brunette Becky Bandini is a little easier on the eyes. Still, there’s nothing particularly remarkable about her hump session with Kyle Mason. Ryan Keely ups the wow factor a bit; Amazonian in stature with curves to spare, she’s basically a Robert Crumb drawing come to life. Krissy Lynn is probably the juiciest peach in this mixed bushel; her tits are ample but not surreal, and she takes Jax Slayher’s sperm stick in her shitpit like she’s going for the gold in the Cornhole Olympics. Overall, however, despite the cartoonish proportions of some of its talent,Prime MILF Vol. 8 largely falls flat. —P.D.R.