Pretty Little Sluts

There’s porn that makes you think, and then there’s porn that only makes you think you’re thinking. Pretty Little Sluts falls into the latter category. Adorned with bells and whistles that hint at a more ambitious form of smut—tinkling piano music, voice-over dialogue—this is ultimately a showcase for Manuel Ferrara to sexually rough up yet another succession of flesh pockets. Which is fine in itself, as long as the female talent is up to snuff. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case here, such as with video opener Khloe Kapri, who kicks things off with a slightly clown-faced Kellyanne Conway-ish look about her. At least Kapri is game for a rough tumble, pounding her face on Ferrara’s jackhammer with zest and tongue-scouring his dung hatch. Ultimately it’s like listening to the latest Maroon 5 single; the production is decent—you might even bob your head in appreciation at times—but it’s nothing you haven’t experienced before. The video redeems itself with pale, lithe, straw-haired Ivy Wolfe. With her cupcake tits and a wisp of pubes atop her mound, Wolfe is about as innocent-looking as one could hope for in such an offering. Squint hard enough, and she might pass for Taylor Swift. Elsewhere, fresh-faced brunette Gina Valentina double-fists Ferrara’s dong as she slobbers all over it, then takes a drubbing to her pooper that makes her eyes roll back in her head. Pretty Little Sluts is pretty okay, but it’s nothing to write home about. —P.D.R.