Next Friday Night

We’re reviewing this one in honor of the mandatory-condoms bill, which might be law by the time you read this. That’s right, you may have to get used to more porn looking like Wicked Pictures. The folks at Wicked have long figured that hard-core is where the rubber meets the road! (Larry Flynt sees that a little differently, by the way.) One virus no one’s safe from, though, is the parody epidemic. This flick, written by Stormy Daniels, rips off Katy Perry’s ’80s-style bubblegum video for Last Friday Night, with Alektra Blue as the dorky girl in braces who has a crush on the high school hunk. Depending on how into nerd sex you are, you may prefer retainer-wearing Alektra to her standard-issue porn self. (Since when do nerdy girls have huge implants?) Unfortunately, she loses the face brace before things get too slurpy. As for historical accuracy, the compulsory safe sex isn’t the only suspicious detail, but do you really care? You do? Well, Nikki Delano’s too-big-for-her-body boobs will distract you, not to mention the climax of Alektra’s horny journey. The colors and clothes in this flick may hurt your eyes, and the fuck scenes are more sweet than spectacular, but whatever you do, don’t blame it on the condoms!