Hot and Bothered

Most people’s vacation videos consist of awkward footage of families exploring local landmarks while the resentful kids try to distance themselves from dorky parents. Luckily Hot and Bothered, an erotic travelogue exploring the fleshy hills and valleys populating the European continent, is a much more fulfilling prospect. Doll-face blonde Krystal Kaytlyn is the embodiment of youthful wholesomeness, until that winsome smile of hers is stuffed with a throbbing sausage. The dude she’s paired up with is so emaciated, he could have been an extra in Schindler’s List, but his towering slammer stands proud and long as he heartily spelunks Kaytlyn’s birth canal. After a spirited plunging from behind, he flips his flaxentressed playmate over and opens her like a road map, plowing her terrain as she goes knees-to-armpits for the drilling. Despite her greyhound-thin frame, statuesque dirty-blonde Belle Claire boasts a pair of perfect, jaw-dropping tatas. She eyes her partner’s sperm-shooter like a junkie presented with a full syringe before hungrily sucking it down and treating it to a slippery poke between her luscious udders. Not all of the stops on the Hot and Bothered itinerary are fulfilling—a bleak three-way featuring a doughy-waisted brunette and a hard-faced blonde comes across like a Communist-era instructional video on how to shoot a porn flick. Overall, however, it’s definitely a trip worth taking. —P.D.R.