Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
There are certain firsts in a young woman’s life that she’ll never forget. Among them, no doubt, is her initial experience getting thoroughly reamed by two massive beef batons at the same time. Ebony DP purports to capture the first double penetrations of its three starlets, and while any claim made on a porn video’s cover should be taken with a bucket of salt, these tag-teaming antics will certainly prove memorable for the viewer. Beauty Diamond Banks kicks things off with an epic buildup backed by a dramatic soundtrack that makes one think a pyrotechnics-laden Michael Bay movie is about to unfold. In a sense, explosions do ensue, but not until Banks is worked over by the plus-size prongs of Prince Yahshua and Jax Slayher. This is not a dainty proceeding; Yahshua and Slayher skewer Banks end to end like a pig on a spit before simultaneously double-plugging her nether ports with the speed and precision of a NASCAR pit crew. Along the way, the hydraulic-hipped swordsmen offer words of encouragement to Banks along the lines of “Open that ass!” and “Work that shit!” It’s like the Jane Fonda workout tape you always wanted to see. Elsewhere, whippet-thin, mahogany fuck muffin Chanel Skye also gets worked over by the Slayher-Yahshua wrecking crew. Skye yelps with high-decibel histrionics when her esophagus isn’t stuffed with ebony boner. You should mute the volume for this one, lest your neighbors call 911 about a suspected murder in progress. If you enjoy watching and listening to chicks getting dicked with massive manmeat, Ebony DP is for you. —P.D.R.
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