DP Masters 2
It’s nice to see that some people are still devoted to perfecting a craft, like the dedicated fuckers of DP Masters 2, who toil to hone their skills at penetrating shitpit and baby-shooter simultaneously. Unfortunately, the mixed results of this video indicate that a few more classes are in order. Exhibit A: headlining cum-bucket Ryan Conner, a threadbare hag who not only should have been relegated to the ash heap of pornography—they should have burned the ashes again. Conner’s neongreen outfit, accentuated with polka-dot cutouts, looks like a circus tent stretched across her over-ample frame—which is actually appropriate, given her clown-from- your-nightmares facial features, punctuated by a schnoz that would make Secretariat seriously consider rhinoplasty. Why the video’s producers decided to highlight her in the leadoff scene defies all logic. Her drooping, wizened meat curtains and crepey turd hatch are like twin black holes in which any sexual interest disappears forever. Luckily the video rebounds from there. Brunet, swollen-racked vixen Kendall Karson delights in her fetish-friendly latex gear—and demonstrates agile skill in taking tandem cocks to her bunghole and girl gulch. Asian cock hound Kaylani Lei likewise helps to ameliorate this video’s ghastly opening salvo—but that’s a little like someone handing you a Band-Aid after shooting you in the chest. DP Masters 2 is a few credits short of a degree. —P.D.R.