Cruise Control

For a DVD whose case copy reads, “Carter Is Back! And She Is Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’,” Cruise Control has trouble finding—and making—its mark. While the packaging promises kink-heavy delights, the contents deliver 50 Shades of Tame. Between all-too-lengthy segments of centerpiece snizz Carter Cruise expounding on her sexual history, aspirations and philosophies, the video offers fairly straitlaced rut sessions. Cruise and tawny-skinned sexpot Asa Akira team up to service a firm-loined goon in a perfectly fine, if fairly vanilla, threeway. Aside from some light hair-pulling and nipple-tweaking, there’s nothing out of the ordinary here. That said, the sight of Cruise tonguespearing the bitter turd blossom of an aging woodsman as he sodomizes Akira isn’t without its allure. Later Cruise asserts that she gets “really aggressive” with women, right before descending on blindfolded brunette Aiden Ashley. Cruise lightly drags a whip across Ashley’s delectable ass crack before engaging in a fairly standard girl-girl scene punctuated by toe-sucking and assmunching. Again, it’s not that it’s a bad scene, but it’s a bit like ordering the Marquis de Sade’s The 120 Days of Sodom and receiving a Nicholas Sparks novel instead. A further scene, featuring Cruise done up in pigtails and sucking on a lollipop as she attempts to seduce a gimp-masked guard in a dungeon, is more comical than erotic, like a mismatched couple playing naughty after a hasty trip to the Spirit Halloween store. Cruise Control should have worked the kinks in a little more.