Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody

Somebody tell Kevin Smith to put down the bong and find his penis because he’s going to want to jerk off to this! He should do so proudly because let’s be honest, how many no-budget indies get porn parodies? Smith is the guy who made the original Clerks and played the immortal Silent Bob. It launched his career, mostly because the flick was fucking hilarious—a slacker classic. What makes this XXX ripoff a whacker classic is dollfaced Allie Haze, who you filth-geeks may remember as a horny Princess Leia. This time she’s a smut jockey at a sex shop who doesn’t mind fucking her coworker behind the counter. Ever wanted to see a young Alicia Silverstone get pounded? Allie’s the spitting image—and has sucked way more than 37 dicks! Meanwhile, out in the parking lot, Chastity Lynn as an awesomely slutty version of Jay is ready to “fuck anything that moves,” and she does. Shit, we just ran out of space, so we can’t tell you everything else that happens, but most of it involves premium pussy and the occasional anus. That’ll keep the jizz moppers busy. Is this the movie Kevin Smith would have made if he’d had enough money to pay porn stars? Probably, but it would have had more chicks with dicks! That’s another Clerks reference. Rent it already.