Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Valentine’s Day: It’s when you hope that Cupid will shoot an arrow of enchantment into a beloved’s heart…and the cherubic fucker drives a dagger of despair into your back instead. It’s bitter disappointment, wrapped in deceptively sweet layers of expectation, chocolate and caramel. Luckily, Barely Legal 192: Valentine Virgins actually delivers on the promise of this bullshit holiday—that promise, of course, being sweet, young pussy welcoming us into its warm, snug embrace. The nubile sweethearts on display here are fresh-faced and unsullied, and the production itself manages to conjure the spirit of Valentine’s Day without succumbing to its overbearing mush. Its warm tones and soft piano are tender without being treacly, romantic without being ridiculous. Bottle-blond enchantress Chanel Camryn lures a crush into her lair with a trail of rose petals. It’s a setup that has the potential to give a Hallmark executive diabetes, but the ensuing humpfest is anything but cloying; Camryn jerks and yelps with every thrust of her beau’s jumbo-size, titanium-hard pecker. Perky, pretty Mazy Myers is another delight. A milky-skinned, puffy-nippled maiden, she sports a faint, wispy tuft of strawberry pubes above her bubblegum-pink pussy—it’s a visual treat more mouthwatering than a Whitman’s Sampler. And they don’t get any more fresh-faced than apple-cheeked, wide-eyed Adrianna Jade. Playing a schoolgirl who seduces her teacher, the petite cutie convincingly conveys an awkward virginal persona—that is, until she drops to her knees and expertly pushes her instructor’s beef baton to the back of her throat. Unlike that chubby, winged prick with the bow and arrow, Barely Legal 192: Valentine Virgins is right on target. Order your copy today at AdultDVDEmpire.com. —Pico D. Ribibi`
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