It took how many years of anal hardcore being around for somebody to finally come up with that awesome title? This sphinctershredder dials it up to 11 in the first scene with top-shelf Asian balldrainer London Keyes taking some serious sau sage—not to mention a huge nightstick-looking dildo—deep in the sewer pipe. The only thing more mesmerizing than London’s butt work is her cock-slobbering. Somebody should think about bottling that saliva; you could hydrate a small country with it. Lea Lexis gets butt-ripped next, and her cocksman takes no prisoners. But save some splooge for slender, tight-assed beauty Nikita Bellucci. Her scene seems like something that shouldn’t exist: a supermodel getting pounded in the ass, then rimjobbing her rear-wrecker. The memory of Nikita’s punishment will make you hard for weeks to come. Trashy-cute AJ Applegate is the final casualty. If you ever wanted to rail on the rectum of that cute blonde who works at the local burger joint, AJ is happy to step in and serve you a triple-pounder, hold the mercy. Yeah, we’re not sure what that means either; the blood won’t go back to our brains. Get help!