Asshole of the Month: Mitch McConnell

In the heated buildup to November, there has been a lot of chatter about the age of our Presidential candidates: How old is too old? Republicans allege, and even many Democrats worry, that Joe Biden may be coasting along past his expiration date. Donald Trump is certainly no spring chicken, and regardless of his alleged physical health, his brains turned into scrambled eggs years ago. The same concern applies to the longest-serving party leader of the Senate: the odious Republican Mitch McConnell, 82, who acts more like a resurrected cadaver with every passing day.

Back in July of last year, McConnell was speaking at a press conference when he suddenly froze like a deer in the headlights, unable to utter a word or make any movement. Senator Barrasso had to escort him from the lectern. Mitch did it again in August, completely catatonic, looking exactly like a doddering Alzheimer’s patient in the final days. U.S. Capitol attending physician Brian Monahan assured the nation that the embarrassing episodes were due to the lingering effects from a concussion McConnell suffered way back in March, plus lightheadedness and dehydration. But many fellow Republicans were not buying it. “You can’t say that you’re concerned about Joe Biden, but you’re not concerned about Mitch McConnell,” said Josh Hawley. His fellow GOP senator from Kentucky, Rand Paul, M.D., said, “From what I’ve seen, it’s a neurological event; it’s not dehydration.” And then the arch-conservative rag National Review chimed in: “The time has come for the Kentucky senator, after his long, impressive run, to make the decision to step aside from leadership.”

We heartily agree—and finally, finally, so does he! In late February McConnell announced that he would step down as leader of the Senate this year—and not a minute too soon, because his “long run” has been impressively malignant, a multi-decade shit show. He’s been squatting in the Senate since the dark ages of Reagan’s White House—since 1985 to be exact, racking up a record as the greatest double-dealing, hypocritical obstructionist of all time. As the figurehead of our evolving plutocracy—with his multiple terms as either Senate Majority or Minority Leader—he has led the battle against campaign finance reform and voting rights legislation and let the fat cats run amok, the 99% be damned. After Georgia enacted draconian new laws restricting voting access in 2021, and Major League Baseball along with some corporations (Coca-Cola and Delta Air Lines) objected to this blatantly racist program, Mitch had the gall to say, “If I were running a major corporation, I’d stay out of politics.” What a howler! Democratic Senator from Maryland Chris Van Hollen nailed it: “He has no problem with all of them [corporations] weighing in in support of the Trump tax cuts. He has no problem with them weighing in with laws to discourage unions. When they weigh in on behalf of voters, that crosses a line.”

Another line that McConnell will never cross: voting against any and all tax cuts for the ultrarich, like himself. The Economic Times estimated his personal net worth to be approximately $35 million. So he’s always voting shamelessly to pad his own fortune. To get the CARES (Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security) Act passed in 2020, McConnell insisted on adding a $135 billion tax break for 43,000 of the wealthiest Americans—almost 68 times the paltry $2 billion that over 4 million average Kentuckians collectively received. One of McConnell’s constituents slammed that unnecessary giveaway in a letter to the editor of Georgetown’s News-Graphic: “It’s like McConnell is a reverse socialist.”