September 2003

FEATURES

TURD

A HUSTLER Ad Parody

SEX PLAY

Telephone Tail: Chasing Chicks on Chat Lines

CENTER STAGE WITH GREAT WHITE

Parody Concert Review

WHO KILLED LOLO FERRARI?

The Mysterious Death of a Tit Queen. On March 5, 2000, French Porn Star Lolo Ferrari Was Found Dead. Three Years Later, No One’s Quite Sure if She Committed Suicide, Accidentally Overdosed or Was the Victim of Homicide at the Hands of Her Husband.

FRED PHELPS HATES FAGS

Straight Talk With God’s Favorite Homophobe

DRAWN TO THE DARK SIDE

HUSTLER’s Second-Chance Art Contest Winners

POO-SPRAYED SHOES

The Extreme Elvis Story. Getting Naked, Drinking His Own Piss and Crapping Onstage; It’s All in a Day’s Work for the World’s Most Disgusting Elvis Impersonator.

SINFUL HABITS

The Hidden History of Child-Molesting Nuns. While the Pedophile-Priest Scandal Inundated the Media, Some Women of the Cloth Have Been Busy Raping, Molesting and Pimping Out the Kids in Their Flock.

DESERTER IN CHIEF

Did Bush Abandon His Post During ‘Nam? While George W. Bush Has No Problem Sending U.S. Soldiers to Sacrifice Their Lives in the Middle East, Evidence Suggests That He Was Worse Than a Draft-Dodging Coward; in All Likelihood, He Was a Wartime Deserter. Greg Palast Uncovers New Information on W.’s War-Avoiding Maneuvers and the Subsequent Coverup. Ed Rampell Explores Bush’s 18-Month Absence From Duty.

GIRLS

PICTORIALS:

CAMERON CRUISE AND TRIXI in "Lay of the Land" NAUTICA in "Goldmember" ELITTA in "Back to Nature" CHARLIE LAINE in "Dork at Heart" TANYA JAMES in "Dressed to Thrill" MELODY MAX, BUNNY LUV, BRONZE, BRITTANY SKYE, CINDY CRAWFORD AND NACHO in "XXX-Treme Sports" BABY DOLL, AMANDA AND JOHN WEST in "The Wild Ones"

STANDARDS

PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

Support Our Troops By: Larry Flynt

ASSSHOLE OF THE MONTH

Dianne Feinstein

BITS & PIECES

Beer for Perverts and the Shittiest Web Site Ever

DEAR SLUT

XXX Star Jeanna Fine Tells the Fucking Truth

HUSTLER HUMOR

A Gaggle of Real Gut-busters

BEAVER HUNT

Cooze From the Home Front

JENNA TALES

Adventures in the Skin Trade With Jenna Jameson

EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT

Dick Smothers Jr., Porn Stud

HOT LETTERS

Quiff Notes

REAL COLLEGE GIRLS

HUSTLER Is Looking for Student Bodies