HUSTLER Magazine

March 2009

Once they’re sold out, they’re gone!

FEATURES

THE Q&A: DR. HELEN CALDICOTT

The Outspoken Leader of the No-Nukes Movement Blasts Away at the Criminals Who Have Poisoned Earth

DAN DECARLO

The Secret Sexy Side of the Illustrator of Archie, Betty and Veronica

NO GUTS, NO GLORY

A True-Life Memoir By a Fearless Soldier of Fortune

THE PORNOGRAPHY OF POWER

Robert Scheer’s Latest Opus

SIX WAYS TO SAVE YOUR ASS AT POKER

The Author of 52 Ways to Cheat at Poker Explains How to Catch the Cheaters

LARRY FLYNT: “KEEP THOSE CHEATERS AWAY FROM THE GAME!”

HUSTLER’s Publisher Recalls the Times He Has Nabbed a Card-nicker

PEREZ HILTON: DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

World’s Bitchiest Gossip Maestro Knows a Thing Or Two About Celebu-tards

CONSLUTS: DRAGON*CON 2008

Atlanta’s Annual Fantasyfest Boasts Sci-fi Celebrities, Costumed Babes and Parties Galore

SEBASTIAN BACH

Down and Dirty With Music Editor Keith Valcourt

GIRLS

PICTORIALS:

MORGAN DAYNE in "Hopeless Romantic" KELLY SUMMER in "Sock It to Her" LINDSAY MARIE in "All Laid Out" DIANA DOLL in "A Real Doll" BRITNEY BRIGHTON in "My Naughty Valentine" SABRINA ROSE & PAOLA REY in "Ladies Who Lick" MARIE McCRAY & AARON WILCOX in "Love Is…"

STANDARDS

SEX PARODY

Zac & Mimi Make a Porno

PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

An Open Letter to President Barack Obama By: Larry Flynt

THE PRESIDENT & THE MONEYCHANGERS

Greed and Gutlessness in the Temple of Congress By: Robert Scheer

MISSING: ASSUMED RENDERED

Where Have Thousands of the CIA’S “Disappeared” Prisoners Gone? By: Nat Hentoff

CONFESSIONS OF A TV PUNDIT

Big Mouths, Big Pay and Big Lies Make for a Veritable Boob Tube Circus By: Alex Bennett

TECH KNOW

Night Vision Goggles, Plus a Remote-controlled Beer Cooler

CELEBRITY FANTASY

Sarah Palin

GAME ON

Saints, Sinners, Superheroes and a Hedgehog

POLITICAL PARODY

Cadbury’s Poisonous Chocolate

ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH

Henry Paulson

BITS & PIECES

Bucky’s Valentine’s Day Tips, Porn Star Houston, and Sarah Palin Gets a Mouthful

HOT LETTERS

Panty Kink

CLASSIC CARTOONS

Humorous Hijinks from HUSTLER’s Vault

THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE

Fitness Fox Wendy Rider

COUGARS UNLEASHED

The Platinum Princess, Porn Legend Seka

TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH

Cathouse Bombshell Recalls One of Her Most Bizarre Experiences at Nevada’s Famed Brothel

HUSTLER HUMOR

 

SIGHTS & SOUNDS

Missing Person Dale Bozzio, the Eagles of Death Metal and “Porno Freak” Blowfly

MOVIE MAMMARIES

Asian Invasion! Bai Ling, Joan Chen, Lucy Liu & Reiko Ike

FAMOUS FLESH

Shauna Sand Boob Bust-Out; Sarah Palin’s Beauty Pageant Past

COLLEGE REPORT

Coed’s Double Life

REAL COLLEGE GIRLS

Extracurricular Nudity

EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT

Ashlynn Brooke Supports the Troops, and Jenna Haze Bewitches. Plus: Win a Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? DVD!

BEAVER HUNT

Stellar Amateur Roundup