January 2009

FEATURES

THE Q&A: H. LOUIS SIRKIN

The Famed First Amendment Defender Passionately Explains How the Government has Stolen Your Constitutional Freedoms. First of Two Parts.

CELEBRITY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Promises Are Made to be Broken—Like These Wacky Celeb Vows for the Coming Year

THE HILLS' AUDRINA PATRIDGE-NUDE!

See Reality TV’s Sexiest Brunette in the Most Revealing Shots Ever!

DAY IN THE LIFE: SINNAMON LOVE

She Does It All: A Rare Peek At The Secret Life of Porn’s Top Black Fetish Star

GIRLS WHO ROCK

Jammin’ Glamour Babes in Rockin’ Tribute Bands: Blonde Jovi, Iron Maidens and More! They’ll Get Your Rocks Off!

A BULLET FOR THE BITCH

Tough Guy Investigator Mike Creed Goes On the Prowl for Bad Guys—And Really Bad Girls

GODFREY

The Outlandish Comic, Actor and 7UP Pitchman Brags About What He’ll Do To Britney Spears—If Only He Gets the Chance!

THE GIRLS OF COMIC-CON

See the Babes of This Annual San Diego Comic Book Fantasy-Fest, All In Costume—But Just Barely!

BEN FRANKLIN'S EROTIC ADVICE

One of Our Nation’s Founding Fathers in Praise of MILFs and Cougars

GIRLS

PICTORIALS:

EDEN AMOR in "Good Clean Fun" RILEY EVANS in "A Winning Pair" VERONICA RICCI in "Fresh-Faced Beauty" DAISY MARIE in "Clothes Whore" KENZI MARIE in "Miss Marie’s Wild Ride" LEXI BELLE & MICK BLUE in "The Pickup Artist" KIMBERLY FRANKLIN & ERIK EVERHARD in "Gypsy Lust"

STANDARDS

SEX PARODY

The Spirit

PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

Speaking the Unspeakable By: Larry Flynt

LICENSE TO STEAL

America’s Unregulated Banking System Robs the Poor to Give to the Rich By: Robert Scheer

CENSORSHIP BY FEAR

How Publishers Pressure Writers to Speak Only the “Right” Truth By: Nat Hentoff

DIGITAL EXAM

Do You Know Why Your TV is About to Fuck You? By: Alex Bennett

TECH KNOW

Win a Nextar K4 Navigation System

CELEBRITY FANTASY

Megan Fox

GAME ON

Sin City Shootout, TNA Wrestling and UT3

POLITICAL PARODY

Fox: Making Better News!

ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH

Brainless Blonde Elisabeth Hasselbeck

BITS & PIECES

Porn Star Parties, the FAME Awards and FOXE Follies, Plus Megan Fox Blows It

HOT LETTERS

Blowjob of the Century

CLASSIC CARTOONS

Taste-Free Giggles From the Past

THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE

Chasing Chase Monroe

ARIOCK PINUP

 

HUSTLER HUMOR

Wisenheimers’ Wisecracks

SIGHTS & SOUNDS

Buckcherry Loves Crazy Bitches, Rick Springfield Does Too

MOVIE MAMMARIES

Maria Bello’s Bush, Plus Hellboy’s Selma Blair Naked

FAMOUS FLESH

Musical Mammaries of Alicia Keys, Lil’ Kim and Ginger Spice, Plus Supermodel Kate Moss

MIND-NUMB MILLENNIALS

How Do We Fix a Generation of Losers? Throw Their Sorry Asses Into a Depression By: Mancow Muller

TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH

Experience Preferred

COLLEGE REPORT

Stimulating Internship

REAL COLLEGE GIRLS

Art Chick Holly Fox

EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT

Katsuni Purrs, Monique Cries Wolf and Mandy Morbid Gets Sick!

BEAVER HUNT

Rockin’ Amateurs