Holiday 2009

FEATURES

A PRESIDENTIAL ENERGY POLICY

Oil Supplies Have Peaked. Kiss the American Way of Life Goodbye.

ROBOT LOVE

The Futuristic Universe of Artist Patrice Murciano

HUSTLER’S HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

Save the Economy by Buying More Stuff No One Needs!

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JENNA HAZE

Porn’s A-list Princess Lives a Regular Life Just Like You—Almost

JOHN & KATE PLUS HATE!

Reality-show Family Goes to Hell for Your Cheap Entertainment

COUGARS WE’D LIKE TO SEE

Aging Politicos Finally Strip Thanks to The Magic of Xmas

GOY TO THE WORLD

Radio Maverick Hunts for Hope in the Promised Land Only to Find a Gaggle of Grinches

GIRLS

PICTORIALS:

JAYDEN COLE in "I Can’t Take It Anymore!" KELLIE KRAVE in "Window Dressing" BOBBI STARR in "Unwrapped" ALETTA OCEAN in "All Eyes on Me" NIKKI in "Snowball" SANDY & ALEXIS FORD in "Twice the Nice" THIS AIN’T THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY XXX! TV Pop Clan Gives the Groupies What They Want

STANDARDS

SEX PARODY

The Beaver, Starring Mel Gibson

PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

Bitch-Slap the Republicans By: Larry Flynt

STUPID MEDDLING

U.S. Support for Islamic “Freedom Fighters” Decades Ago Ended Secular Rule in Afghanistan, Oppressed Its Women and Nurtured Terrorism on American Soil By: Robert Scheer

OUR HUMPTY DUMPTY PRESIDENT

By Countermanding Campaign Promises, has Barack Obama Become As Imperious As a King? By: Nat Hentoff

SORRY TO DISAGREE, REVEREND

Some Thoughts About Al Sharpton’s Rewriting of Black-Entertainment History By: Alex Bennett

DESPERATELY SEEKING CHRISTMAS

Given the Way Christians Squeeze Profit From this Holiday, You’d Almost Expect the Baby Jesus to Squeal By: Mamie Van Doren

CELEBRITY FANTASY

Robin Wright Penn

TECH KNOW

Twice the Giveaways!

GAME ON

Brütal Legend, Mafia 2, Madballs

POLITICAL PARODY

Halliburton’s New Perk: Rape

ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH

Liz Cheney, Daughter of Evil

BITS & PIECES

Bucky’s Holiday Tips, E3 Booth Babes and the Return of Spantaneeus Xtasty

PINUP BY SANDRA CHANG

 

HOT LETTERS

How to Build an Orgasm

CLASSIC CARTOONS

This Shit Never Gets Old!

TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH

My First Handle Job

THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE

Multiethnic Doll Brianna Jordan

HUSTLER HUMOR

Funnier Than a Drunk Santa On a Skateboard

SIGHTS & SOUNDS

Ron White’s Blue-collar Christmas and Stocking Stuffers You Need!

MOVIE MAMMARIES

Keira Knightley: Pirate Booty

FAMOUS FLESH

Carmen Electra’s Sin City Striptease

COLLEGE REPORT

Taser vs. Student Body

REAL COLLEGE GIRLS

Extracurricular Derring-Do

EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT

Two Big XXXmas DVD Giveaways! Operation: Tropical Stormy, Everybody Loves Lucy and More to Keep Your Yule Log Warm!

BEAVER HUNT

Captivating Amateurs