Margot Robbie, Rhea Perlman, Ryan Gosling, Will Ferrell, Kate McKinnon—is anyone not appearing in Barbie?! This casting director needs to cool it with the nootropics.
With all of these marquee names being tossed around like so much confetti, we can’t help but wonder, Where are the porn parodies? In fact, there are so many amazing films coming out right now that it would be a disservice not to pontificate on the sexification of our favorite blockbusters.
And when it comes to fantasy casting, no one is more on the nose than HUSTLER’s very own porn whisperer, the indomitable Missy Martinez. Here she offers her perverted picks for the stickiest of movie premieres. “Pro-tip: Fucking on the red carpet is super hard on the knees. Wait until you’re back in the limo.” (Thanks, Missy!)
