One thing you can say about the adult entertainment industry is that it is never boring—for better or worse. But let’s put “worse” on the backburner for now and focus on the good things. Specifically, the promise of a new year filled with sex, smut and something the kids call “futanari.”
What mysteries await us in 2024? Where is porn going? Is Hellmann’s the new lube? HUSTLER contributor and stand-up comedian Missy Martinez also dabbles as a XXX trend forecaster. Using complex algorithms and vodka, Missy opens her mind’s eye to provide a peek into the future of filth.
Toys: “My crystal ball (translation: glass butt plug) is sending me very clear images of what’s to come in sexual pleasure aids: sock puppets. I see customizable socks with interchangeable googly eyes, mouth openings and colors. For an additional fee, you can get yours bundled with a jar of warm mayonnaise.”
