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February 2023

Kiara Cole
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XXX Hindsight
Featured Article

XXX Hindsight

Some of our favorite performers share advice that they wish they could have given to their younger selves.

It’s a hard pill to swallow—we don’t always know everything we need to when we enter a new field of work, and porn is no exception. There are definitely some lessons and advice we all wish we had known from the get-go. I gathered a group of sex workers from varying fields to time-travel back to when they first entered the industry and give themselves some advice! 

Photo courtesy of Mz Dela Florez

Mz Dela Florez (Twitter: @MzDelaFlorez): “I would tell myself to just lean into what makes me happy aesthetically and feel authentically empowered. I spent way too much mental energy in my first year trying to conform to the aesthetics of established talent. I was seeing their success and putting too much weight into what they looked like, how they branded and trying to make myself ‘fit’ into those same boxes, thinking that’s what the market demanded. I’ve never been someone who fits into a mainstream box, and that felt scary entering this industry! I wasn’t dripping in designer labels looking slick like a Kardashian, I wasn’t a kinky Barbie with a silicone sculpted figure, nor was I a latex fetish fembot inside a dungeon. It felt like being a lo-fi, earthy bohemian in loungewear by day and an electro-neon retrowave aficionado by night was maybe off-brand for a Domme—rather than seeing it as what would help set me apart! I really struggled with finding my own brand and voice because of it. I quickly felt burnt out trying to be someone else, and I started resenting the money I was investing in lingerie and set dressings that I didn’t really like and didn’t feel comfortable in. I fought creator’s block more and more. Eventually, I started making stuff I liked as ‘filler’ just to keep up with the intense content production schedule. To my surprise, fans really responded to it! That gave me the confidence to start creating more things I enjoyed and found beautiful. Once I just allowed myself to be me, things began falling into place and my creativity started flowing. Then my energies could go towards what was actually useful—like improving lighting and quality in a way that made me feel excited and inspired. It started being really fun! So I would definitely say just be you from the start. Because just like in real life, trying to be someone else simply isn’t healthy or sustainable.”

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