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January 2026

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The Hands of Time

Merry wankers, rejoice; according to a new study, your urge to spank it won’t disappear as you get up there in years. We can’t blame horny teenagers for playing with their junk behind closed doors. Hell, at that age, they are barely any better than monkeys at the zoo. A stiff breeze or a gentle...

Fapping Flashbacks

Yes, chances are that you (and your partner) masturbate to an ex on occasion. No, it doesn’t spell trouble for your relationship. Everybody jerks off to whatever gets their nether regions fluttering, often tapping into a mental spank bank that’s been growing since puberty. Maybe a guy’s picturing Flo from Progressive while he goes a...

The Couple That Strokes Together…

Getting in touch with the many relationship benefits of mutual masturbation. There are loads of couples in committed relationships right now silently sitting in their respective recliners, watching television, secretly wishing that a giant asteroid would come crashing through the roof and end it all. The romance is long gone, and they’re no longer regularly...