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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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March 2024

Featuring Roxy Shaw
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Sorry, Boss—I’m on My Porn Break!
Featured Article

Sorry, Boss—I’m on My Porn Break!

According to recent research, millions of people take time out of the workday to consume XXX. We look at the risks of watching smut on the clock.

It seems a lot of hard-working people probably got that way by watching porn on the job—that is, if a recent study out of the United Kingdom holds any weight. Scientific minds claim that millions of people across the pond are getting their fix of freaky and kinky fun by spending nearly an hour each workday watching various smut sites. 

Well, by gawd, they’re in for some stiff competition. If the Brits are bopping their bologna to adult videos on company time, it only stands to reason that Americans, those horny men and women that have been entrusted to hold down the fort for the world, are rubbing—I mean, robbing—their employers blind by taking porn breaks. Here in the Land of the Free, we must do everything with more passion and intensity than other countries, and porn consumption is certainly no exception. And it’s not just the sketchy clerk selling edible panties to truckers at one of those smut superstores who’s doing it either. Presumably, it’s also members of law enforcement, firemen, priests and government officials.

Porn is everywhere these days, and almost everyone with an internet connection is watching it. “It is so accessible now,” Clyde, 45, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. You better believe it is. It isn’t like when I was a young whippersnapper growing up in the 1980s, when we had to wait for our parents to leave the house to sneak a peek of our father’s stash of HUSTLERs and maybe a few minutes of a random VHS tape labeled Hog Gobbler that he had tucked in the back of a closet, hoping like hell that we weren’t going to catch a glimpse of our mother doing some dirty and depraved shit. These days, all porn-seekers have to do is type their kinks into a search engine and blammo—it’s showtime, jerkoffs! Statistics show that nearly 70 percent of the adult male population and 40 percent of women are consuming some type of coital theater every year—and a good chunk of the others are probably lying about it. 

Watching at work, however, seems risky, yet plenty are still wagering their paychecks that they won’t get caught. 

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