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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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Parental Cock Blockers
Featured Article

Parental Cock Blockers

How do you maintain a vibrant sex life when you have to move back in with your folks? Or when an elderly parent has to move in with you? We offer some vital tips on how to keep things from getting too close for comfort.

In our formative years of fucking, back when we were guided around by our pecker as if it were some snarling, one-eyed emotional support animal needing to be put down for insubordination, getting laid was, at times, a feat of treachery. Any snot-nosed horn dog who ever brought a girl home after school in hopes of weaseling her pants down to her ankles understood that Mom and Dad weren’t having it. Nope, they knew precisely what was going on in there. “Keep that bedroom door open,” they might demand, before transforming what had all the makings of some damn fine teen lust into a living-room hangout watching the evening news. It’s no wonder kids are so eager to move out as soon as they hit the ripe age of 18. They need freedom. They’re willing to work three minimum wage jobs, pay excruciatingly high rent and ridiculously priced utilities, barely affording enough food to survive, just so they can finally have sex unhindered and without fear that Mom is going to burst through the bedroom door at any moment and catch them with their tongue up someone’s ass.

Fast-forward a few decades, and something truly bizarre happens. We become fully grown adults (often with families of our own), our parents get old and suddenly—due to sickness, financial trouble or any number of adversities that life is known to hand someone before they land in the grave—we’re living together again. It’s not uncommon for parents to move in with their kids later in life, a phenomenon called the reverse boomerang effect. Although it’s seemingly uncomfortable for everyone involved, it’s becoming increasingly more common in the United States.

Without a doubt, an unforeseen family reunion that includes oxygen machines and adult diapers can put a real cramp in a couple’s lifestyle, especially when it comes to sex. Just ask Joe from Portland, Oregon. “My mother came to live with us for a few years before she died,” he tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “We don’t live in a huge house or anything, and she had her own room, but it was harder for my wife and I to be intimate. We felt like she could hear us.”

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