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May 2024

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Featured Article

No Justice, No Pussy?

With the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, some women have threatened to launch a sex strike in retaliation. Could it really happen, and is the path to reproductive freedom really paved with blue balls?

Ever since the goons of the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the 50-year-old landmark decision Roe v. Wade, women all over the country have been threatening to launch a savage sex strike. What precisely does that mean? Well, any dude who isn’t pro-choice isn’t getting any. And you’d better be willing to do your share to prevent or terminate an unwanted pregnancy. Even those hitched to some steady ass may feel the wrath; no man is safe if the female persuasion decides to stage a sexual walkout.

Immediately following the verdict robbing women of their bodily autonomy, a population of pissed-off pussies emerged, intent on fighting for their rights. Countless women took to social media to profess an ethos that would surely get the attention of all the anti-feminist, prayer-gurgling swine. And the message was clear: If y’all dudes believe our sexual proclivities require us to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term, we’ll pull the poon off the table and let you jerk off. 

Of course, people say lots of things on social media. The question is, would they really go through with it? We set out to learn whether there was any truth to the threatened sex strike, and if anyone was actually adhering to it. After all, humans are horny little animals, no matter how mad they might be, and they need to get laid. There’s nothing more polarizing than politics, especially when a population of millions has Uncle Sam’s thumb up their asses. But is it up there far enough to spark a revolution of closed cooters?

It just might be.

“Women thought they were held in a higher regard all these years,” 23-year-old Elaina, a social media director, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “But it’s evident that, gauging from what I’m seeing from a lot of men, we haven’t come as far as we initially believed. Men refuse to wear protection a lot of the time, so that’s always scary. The ruling is literally just to control women’s bodies, nothing else. So, it only makes sense that we withhold sex to have some sort of leverage over the situation.”

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