“Heavens no, this isn’t a book-burning. We’d never do that! We’re burning the Constitution!”

THE GOP’S JIHAD AGAINST SCIENCE
by Chris Mooney

FOR SIX YEARS OF THE GEORGE W. BUSH ADMINISTRATION, the scientific community has been repeatedly disdained, and the bullshitters ascendant. The Bush regime has not only politicized the Justice Department—as with the firings of at least eight U.S. Attorneys—but also politicized science.

It began early on when Bush, asserting that our knowledge about global warming was “incomplete,” rejected the Kyoto Protocol. Then he announced a truly bizarre policy for the federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, the major hot-button political issue in the days prior to 9/11. Bush’s decision, made before he had even named his Presidential science adviser, was premised on the false “fact” that more than 60 preexisting cell lines would be eligible for federal funding even if Bush blocked funding for research on any new lines after that. But there weren’t nearly so many lines, and those that did exist were genetically limited, contaminated and had various other attributes that made them undesirable for scientific study.

Understandably annoyed by this kind of crap, scientists grew even more worried as the President left key science posts empty. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)—two megagovernment agencies employing hordes of scientists—were stumbling around leaderless for a year. Bush delayed just as long in appointing a Surgeon General.

Then the real nonsense started. Although few have ever heard of them, it turns out that there are literally hundreds of committees, comprised of scientists and other experts, that advise our massive government on all kinds of technical subjects. Most of these committees are so obscure that apparently no one had thought to politicize them before the Bush Administration came along. It took true innovation (along with a certain measure of control-freakery) to interfere with this small army of nerds and technocrats.

One area where the Bush Administration messed with the scientists involved sex. Many of the President’s Christian Right supporters oppose sex before marriage. (Some probably oppose it after as well.) They also like to claim that virtually any form of contraception, or even information about contraception, encourages youthful promiscuity—rather than, say, protect kids who are going to screw around anyway. So they quickly got to work messing with an advisory committee that makes decisions regarding reproductive health drugs.

That included Plan B—the so-called “morning after” pill. It’s a form of emergency contraception that, if taken quickly after sex, can prevent unwanted pregnancy and therefore a large number of abortions.

Christian conservatives hate abortions; yet paradoxically, because of their discomfort with sex, they also hate Plan B. So the Bush Administration installed on the committee its favorite gynecologist, W. David Hager, author of a book titled As Jesus Cared for Women.  After the experts deliberated, they voted 23-4 that Plan B should be available over the counter. But the highly politicized FDA rejected their view, opting instead for Hager’s minority position on the matter. Later, Hager credited God with helping him to block wider availability of Plan B.

For right-wing Christians, when it comes to deterring women from having abortions, fear is the leading tactic. This inevitably involves more bullshit: claims that having an abortion will make you go crazy, give you breast cancer, etc.

Under the Bush Administration, once again, this kind of stuff actually got a hearing. A government document suggested that abortion might indeed increase a woman’s risk of contracting breast cancer later in life (although the vast majority of experts think otherwise). At least, in this case, reality did ultimately prevail: The document eventually got changed back, as not even the Bushies could justify so indefensible a statement for very long.

During Congressional hearings in July 2007, former Surgeon General Richard Carmona testified that his report on global health concerns was tampered with. Carmona’s original draft stressed the role of condoms in AIDS prevention, but William Steiger—a Bush appointee in the Department of Health and Human Services— sent the then-Surgeon General a memo. Steiger told Carmona to add to his report praise for Bush’s purported efforts to both curb AIDS in Third World countries and to improve public health in Afghanistan and Iraq. The HHS never released Carmona’s report, which also denounced violence against women and pollution, but had failed to ballyhoo Bush.

If possible, the administration’s distortions were still more egregious in the realm of climate science. There seemed to be a government- wide strategy of tinkering and meddling with scientific reports about global warming so as to keep the issue off the table and prevent pressure on the President to seriously address it. At one point the White House so heavily edited a government environmental report that the technocrats had to drop the global warming section entirely, rather than mislead the public.

In another case the executive branch had a lawyer named Philip Cooney—who had no scientific credentials, but had previously worked for the American Petroleum Institute [the oil industry's most influential lobbying organization]— editing the language of scientific documents pertaining to global warming. Needless to say, Cooney emphasized how uncertain everything was. Later, after his edits were revealed, he moved on to work for ExxonMobil. Talk about conflicts of interest.

And even as government scientific reports were getting the red-pen treatment, climate scientists working for the government were, at times, being blocked from talking to the press. Perhaps the most famous case involved James Hansen, arguably the world’s most famous climate scientist. Sometimes called the “father” of global warming, Hansen works for NASA. In early 2006, the scientist charged there had been a clampdown on his freedom of speech after he had given a public lecture discussing the dangers of global warming.

In one case a young NASA aide named George Deutsch helped to divert an interview request for Hansen that came from a National Public Radio show. Deutsch later resigned when it was revealed that contrary to his résumeé, he had not yet graduated from Texas A&M University.

James Hansen’s case is made all the more outrageous because of the urgent message he was struggling to convey to the rest of us. Hansen has become convinced that we have an ever-narrowing window in which to address global warming before we suffer its severest consequences—namely, the destabilization of the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets. This, in turn, could lead to massive sea-level rise on the order of tens of feet, and thus the submersion of many heavily inhabited continental coastal areas and islands in coming centuries.

But Hansen wasn’t the only example of a government climate scientist who experienced constraints upon his ability to discuss global warming with the broader public. Take Thomas Knutson, a constituent of Rush Holt (D-New Jersey). Knutson, a soft-spoken scientist, runs massively complex climate models on massively expensive supercomputers at a government lab in Princeton. The classic technocrat also happens to be an expert on the relationship between global warming and hurricanes. So after the devastating 2005 Atlantic hurricane season—which featured four Category 5 storms, including Katrina—Knutson was prevented by government PR flacks from giving two national television interviews.

In August 2007, Bush announced plans for an international “climate change summit.” Greenpeace responded: “It’s a step forward that Bush no longer denies man-made global warming, but there has to be a concern that this is yet another attempt to derail the U.N. climate change negotiations set for December… Bush speaks about…voluntary targets… [This summit] must not allow Bush to distract the U.N. from December’s meeting, where the goal must be the kind of deep binding emissions cuts that Bush still strongly opposes.”

You might argue, of course, that these are just anecdotes—a few outrageous stories, but scientists don’t draw general conclusions without real statistics, and neither should we.

It turns out that we do actually have statistics about how bad the situation has gotten with respect to science in the Bush Administration. A group called the Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS), which tracks the issue, has collaborated with a number of other organizations to survey governmentemployed scientists about political interference. A number of surveys have been conducted by various branches of the government that employ lots of researchers—the Fish and Wildlife Service, the National Marine Fisheries Service, the FDA, etc.—and the results are eye-opening. For example, in a survey of government climate researchers, the UCS found that 46% of respondents felt pressure to remove the words global warming or climate change from various documents, while 43% reported that edits had altered the meaning of their scientific results.

In other words, the spreading of bullshit has become systemic within the federal government. When the interests of religious zealots, oilmen and the rest of Bush’s backers are involved, ideology always trumps science in this corrupt administration. Finally, it’s important to note that the scientific distortions aren’t merely occurring below the radar in the editing of scientific reports, the quashing of scientists or the stacking of advisory panels. The President himself has uttered them.

As recently as 2006, Bush could be found falsely claiming that a “fundamental debate” still existed over whether human greenhouse gas emissions are causing global temperatures to rise. And on an issue where there’s even more scientific certainty, evolution, the President voiced his support for teaching the pseudoscientific “intelligent design” concept in high school science classes nationwide.

Still, it’s a fair question as to why this so-called “war on science”—which involves distortions, misrepresentations and suppression across the government— has emerged under Bush rather than under previous Presidents. While there’s no single answer, it’s quite clear that many of the attacks on science are intended to reward and appease the special interests that helped put Bush in office in the first place. That’s especially true of corporate America, which has a vested interest in downplaying global warming, and the Christian Right, which obsesses about sex and abortion as well as Darwin. In short, the whole thing looks a lot like a good old-fashioned spoils system.

Reality isn’t up for a vote, though, and our government is supposed to remain competent and intact throughout multiple Presidential administrations. That’s where the true damage from the GOP jihad on science makes itself felt: A huge alphabet soup of government agencies—staffed by scientists and technocrats whose salaries are paid by the public—has now had its credibility thoroughly undermined. Why would a talented young scientist want to go work in one of these agencies, given the alarming stories about science politicization and the low morale among scientists already working there? And why would we, the public, continue to trust these agencies?

On November 7, 2006, Democrats took control of Congress and have already started investigating some of the most egregious cases in which the Bush Administration attacked science. James Hansen, Tom Knutson, Philip Cooney and George Deutsch were called to testify before Congressional committees. We’ll see whether this new, high-level pressure makes the Bush Administration more honest or not. But so far, it has only helped to prompt one of the most incredible bullshit admissions yet.

Earlier this year, the White House had the gall to put out a statement claiming that President Bush has “consistently acknowledged climate change is occurring and humans are contributing to the problem.” It was a bold-faced lie, but a somewhat hopeful one. At least this time around, the Bush Administration’s denial of reality involves denying its previous denial of reality.

NAUTICA THORN PRODUCTIONS/LFP VIDEO.
DIRECTOR: NAUTICA THORN & PAYASO SANCHO.
STARRING: NAUTICA THORN, KIMBERLEY KANE, KELLY WELLS,TYLER FAITH, NICK MANNING, JUSTICE YOUNG, ALEC KNIGHT, JAY HUNTINGTON & JAY LASSITE

Hot off her bit part as a lap dancer in the Hollywood hit Knocked Up, Nautica Thorn assures her fans that she’s not done with XXX by a long shot. Five years into the biz, the half-Japanese Hawaiian hottie still looks fresh as a lotus. And, showing her business savvy, she’s now making flicks through her own company and using Larry Flynt’s distribution muscle to get them out to her fans.

Stripping her approach down to the gonzo bare bones, Nautica wastes no time breaking out her sweet little tits and tight body and jumping onto the nearest dick. With most gals, the string of standard positions would get old fast, but Thorn’s panting and whimpering are strangely addictive. Playing loosely with a surveillance theme, Nautica lets us spy on her makeout session with Tyler Faith and gawk at her gape-talented pal Kelly Wells.

Nautica wields a camera with one hand and rubs her pussy with the other as Kelly shows off her anal acrobatics. Hold off if you can for the last—and hardest—scene. Ms. Thorn takes on two guys, showing them why her devotees swear that once you enter Nautica, you’ll never want to leave.

—M.J.

Learn how to purchase Entering Nautica Thorn at www.HustlerVideo.com.

BY SUN KARMA

I’ve been through the Internet mill before. Back in the day, I set up Web sites to help pay for my college tuition. I had a Webmaster in the ethnic-niche market, but we had major cre­ative differences: Let’s just say I didn’t have enough ass, had too many tattoos and couldn’t make a “sex” face. We ended up parting ways.

I had an offline hiatus, all the while modeling for photo-shoots and archiving the pictures for four years. (I’m not stupid.) When I finally decided to get back into the Internet business, I was determined to simply be myself. I’d have complete control over the new site as Webmistress and creative director.

However, things have changed since the “You build it, and they will come” generation. Sure, I’ll never be as popular as Danni’s Hard Drive or HUSTLER.com, but I figured I’d give it a shot again. I’d build a brand for myself by appearing in HUSTLER Magazine as its roving reporter and by dancing at various strip clubs.

PHOTOS COURTESY EVILFX AND SUNKARMA.NET

Of course, this had previously met with all kinds of turmoil. For instance, my day job. I work in infor­mation technology. One company fired me for appearing in HUSTLER. Thanks! I’m thousands richer due to the settled lawsuit.

Anyway, I often “work” at work, writing on my breaks. I just can’t help it. When your mind runs a million miles a minute, and you have all sorts of creative ideas like I do, you have to get them out somehow. So Microsoft Word is normally always an outlet for me. As a result, I’ve had to attach mirrors to my PC to see creepers sneaking up on me as I’m typing an erotic story or whatever.

Another problem is those coworkers who Google me. It doesn’t take long for people to put 4 and 3 together and get 14. Often I’m the subject of water cooler gossip. Or even worse, I appear in those computer nerd screensavers or wallpapers. I even get e-mails saying, “Hey, don’t you have a site?” One colleague reported me to my boss for having “porn con­tent” on what had been my main Web site (SunKarma.net). This site does not have any nude photos of me. Fortunately, my boss not only didn’t particularly care, but he also thought the whole thing was amusing.

Another especially hei­nous-looking butch boss couldn’t stand me because of it. She would often creep around, hovering behind me, thinking I wasn’t aware of her presence. She was trying to catch me doing something “inappropriate.” Eventually she got tired and just reported me to my boss for dressing too “cute.” (I was just wearing jeans and sweaters, for God’s sake!) I guess she had nothing else to do. Well, you mullet-wearing,fat, ugly dyke, I’m bisexual, so don’t take the term as a putdown. Get something else to do besides picking on me. Maybe if you stopped being so damned jealous, you could find hot girlfriends like the ones I have.

Family too is a source of concern. I’ve often had exes threaten to tell my family what I do. Well, keep your stiff dick in your pants, boys; they already know. It’s not a problem because I’m a grown woman. However, when you have Protestant ministers in your family, it does get a bit touchy. Recently, my cousin—a newly ordained female minister!—found me on MySpace and called to say how much the family “loves me” regardless. Perhaps thinking I was a heathen, she was trying to “save” me.

I’ve been called the HUSTLER bitch often,and I think people mean it as a derogatory term. It doesn’t bother me, however. Getting called a whore is not the worst thing in the world; being called a Republican is.

So it was not without some apprehension that I took up this cause again, to fly the flag of porn wildly and proudly, like Sisyphus fever­ishly pushing the rock up the hill in that ancient Greek myth. The major thing for me was getting my eight years of amassed content and creative ideas out to the world—whether it was ready or not.

This site will be different from my old PurpleKitten.com and MinaRoyale.com Web sites, as it is mostly fetish and will have everything from comics, Webcam shows and live chat to photos and POV work. There will be strap-ons, les­bian action, latex, corsetry, cosplay (costume play), Zentai (full-body stocking), bondage, girlfriend links and just about anything else I want. It will have everything a pay site has and, eventually, video.

Technology has progressed since I started in 1999. Billing companies have come and gone, while the tried and true remain. Hacking and pass­word sharing have become more difficult. I have an awesome set of photographers, including EvilFx as a point-of-view cameraman.

Any good porn starlet has to get in the mood to perform. So do I. Besides a shot of tequila, I usually like to have my own personal fluffer—who also happens to be my photographer. It’s great when you have a sex object who is more of a pervert than you are. I shoot at least two solo sets a day, and it’s almost like guaranteed sex because both of us get so worked up that we are ripping each other’s clothes off by the end of the shoot anyway.

The only hard parts about operating a site are the marketing, the legal aspects (the federal government’s rigorous age-verification requirements, etc.) and the site’s promotion. However, I think I can effectively function as the pink-clad riding hood babe out in the Internet porn woods and hold my own against the big horny porn wolf without needing too much of Grandma’s supervision.

I’m hoping to finally get it right this time around. Now I’m launching TheInternetBitch.com. I’ve built it; you will dome.Well, hopefully. Even if you don’t, it will be one amusing, proverbial dildo ride!
 

DAKODA
ISSUE: May 2008
HOMETOWN: Zephyrhills, Florida
AGE: 19
BIRTH SIGN: Scorpio
HEIGHT: 5-3

PHOTOSHOOT: Brand-New Babe In Town
PHOTOGRAPHER: Mark Lit for Hicksphot

Revenge is a dish best served cold, the saying goes, but Dakoda Brookes begs to differ—and that’s not all the Southern hottie begs for in her syrupy drawl. “No one believes me, but the first time I had sex on film,” the onetime Army brat recollects, “I’d only been with my boyfriend. I finally lost my virginity to him just after I turned 18, but the sonofabitch cheated on me. So I ran off and did a little porn as revenge.” Sweet!

“I only did one blowjob scene,” Dakoda continues, “but I had a feeling I’d take things a lot farther at some point. I was already an exhibitionist. It all started at a Super Bowl party when I was still living in a redneck town in Florida. Anyways, by kickoff time I was buck nekkid and ready to cheer on the Buccaneers. I streaked around the house and jumped in the pool whenever they scored!”

Rushing off to California, Dakoda has flung herself into the adult industry with the same enthusiasm. “I’m just living life to its fullest and having a blast modeling nude and being a naughty girl in movies,” she tells us. How naughty? “I love sucking cocks and the hard, rough stuff. Don’t just fuck me. Choke me, spank my ass, pull my hair and go to town, baby! Dang, I’m not a pussy, but I love that too!”

Can’t get enough of Dakoda? See her behind the scenes in the Hustler Magazine’s July 2008 issue!

All models appearing on this site are 18 years of age and older – 2257 Compliant

SOFIA
ISSUE: December 2007
HOMETOWN: Marco Island, Florida
AGE: 22
BIRTH SIGN: Aquarius
HEIGHT: 5-4

How does a bikini model get into HUSTLER? “I just took it off,” the perfect Prinzzess replies with a laugh. “Nude modeling was such a natural transition because I love displaying my body. At first I was a bit too shy to show off all my goods, but with a little coaxing and encouragement, here I am! Plus, the money is so much better.”

Although Prinzzess Sahara’s adult career is taking off, across-the-board hard-core may have to wait. “Right now I love being photographed and playing around with girls and toys on film,” she tells us. “Having sex with a guy at home is great, but working with a man I’ve never met before? I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet.” So what can a Romeo expect when Prinzzess is ready to play? “I’m very experimental,” the Florida native confides. “I believe that you have to try everything and then decide what works best for you. The missionary position is fine, but if you do that all the time, you’ll be bored. I think of sex as a buffet, and I love to have a little of this and that.”

Finally, we had to ask how the stunning creature came up with the unconventional spelling of her name: “There are a lot of princesses out there in the world, but only one me. Only one special Prinzzess.”

See the Prinzzess wear less in Can You Be a Pornstar? #7 and #8 from HUSTLER Video. Call (toll-free) 877-325-6464 or visit HustlerHollywood.com to order.  

PHOTOSHOOT: The Prinzzess Diaries
PHOTOGRAPHER: Mark Lit for Nicksphoto

All models appearing on this site are 18 years of age and older – 2257 Compliant

March 2008 Video

Here’s a sampling of what hot videos are playing this month on Hustler TV.

Want more info on HustlerTV? Go to HustlerTV.com.

FROM February 2008 Issue

Tune in as Keith Valcourt “grills” the funnier half of stoners’ favorite comedy duo.

PORTRAYING A PAIR of street-wise druggies, Cheech & Chong entertained millions through live performances, albums and movies. After the team split up in 1985, Tommy Chong continued to make audiences laugh until 2003, when he was the victim of a heavy-handed federal investigation that included entrapment, a raid and jail time— for selling glass bongs, not drugs. When the Feds threatened to imprison his family, Chong pleaded out and served nine months. Through it all, the laid-back comic never lost his sense of humor. Tommy sat down with HUSTLER to talk about Cheech & Chong’s heyday, prison life and why demons will eventually get George W. Bush.

HUSTLER: Why did Cheech & Chong break up?

TOMMY CHONG: I guess we got rich. That’s what breaks everybody up.

Do you and Cheech talk?

We’re close to becoming a partnership again.

Really?!

Yep. He came at me with an offer I couldn’t refuse. In the past, Cheech wanted to do a play about our life before we were Cheech & Chong. He was trying to do something to keep him from going back to the old bits. I just refused, saying, “If we’re not Cheech & Chong, then I don’t want to be anything.” But now it’s me and Cheech doing our old act on a high scale that encompasses movies and television.

What kept you two apart for so long?

We had a falling-out over his play.We never argued until then, even when we split up. He just sort of dropped a bombshell on me one day: “You know, I have been offered to make a movie without you, and I’m going to take it.” I was like: “Aaaaaahhhh! What?!” It took me lots of years to get over that because I was the director and the writer. The guy, you know?

Were groupies and trashing hotels part of your lifestyle?

We were hippie rock stars. We had our share of comedy groupies.

They were fans. We still got them. As far as trashing and that goes, not a bit. We shared a room for the first tour we went on. We didn’t think anything of it. It was like, “Oh, cool, we got a room.” It wasn’t until later that we started saying, “Hey, I want my own room.” Cheech and I were as tight as could be, when we had to be.

How much pot did you really smoke back then?

I was a pussy when it came to pot. So was Cheech. (Laughs.) There were many times I would go into his hotel room, and he’d be in bed with the covers around his neck, all bugeyed, saying, “I don’t know what I did. I shouldn’t have smoked it.” We were both pussies.

What was it like the morning you were raided?

It was very Cheech & Chong actually. When my wife and I heard the banging on the door of our house, she said, “There’s someone at the door.” I said, “No shit!” I walked downstairs in my little jockey shorts. We have glass doors and windows, so I could see them all [federal agents]. They looked like trick-or-treaters, like a bunch of guys raiding a comedian’s house. It was like being “punked.” They said, “Open up, this is a raid! We have a warrant.” They burst in, handed me the warrant. I couldn’t read it because I didn’t have my glasses, and it was dark. One of them said, “We are here to seize the items on this warrant.” Then he asked if I had any marijuana. I said, “Um, yeah, every room. Take your pick.”

I tried to help him. That’s what stoners do. So I asked them, “What kind of a drug raid is this without dogs?” He said, “We are not really looking for marijuana.” I asked what they were looking for, and he said, “We’ll tell you in a minute.” They went marching out with all the computers. That’s what really pissed me off. Because once they get them, they ruin them. You might as well throw them in the garbage. Fuckers!

The funny part was I turned to the guy and said I got to take a shit. He told one of his guys to go with me. I told him, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You don’t want to be around an old man when he takes a dump in the morning. That could ruin you.” (Laughs.) They kept asking me if I had any weapons in the house. They wanted to find a fucking gun. If they had, I would’ve been in jail five years.

What were the Feds looking for?

Publicity, bottom line. Right before the raid on Iraq, I was on the road doing all kinds of conservative radio shows talking shit. I think that got me on their radar. They investigated the bong company my son owned. Did the entrapment thing so we would ship bongs across the state line and break the law. They would have gotten my son, so I pled guilty.

What was jail like?

It was like Club Med, only with Cheech & Chong fans. I did the full nine months. (Long pause.) It was good. It was a life-changing experience all around.

Are you angry about the ordeal?

No, because I pled guilty. I also needed the experience. I’ve been talking the talk for years. How many guys can you say have made a living, made millions of dollars getting high? I told my son, if you talk the talk, you’d better walk the walk. I really didn’t believe that you could go to jail for smoking something that makes you laugh. This is an injustice I had to bring attention to.

What do you think of the Bush Administration?

I really think that George W. Bush is going to win Last Comic Standing. He’s got a helluva shot. I don’t see anyone out there that’s funnier.

How long was your probation, and what were the terms?

I had to quit the play I was doing, The Marijuana-Logues.

Why?

When you are on probation, you’re still in jail. That’s why they couldn’t put Scooter Libby on probation. Because he had to do some jail time first. You have to check in with your probation officer. There is a clause in there saying that if you witness a crime and don’t report it, then you are subject to five years additional jail time and five years more probation.

If the government got pissed off at me for doing the “monologues” and checked on the show in Seattle, where they saw several people smoking pot all over the place, and I didn’t report it, I would go back to jail for five years. This is a government that had just put me in jail for one count of [selling] a bong for nine months. They would have loved to get me. So I had to quit the show right on the road, fly back to L.A. and report to my probation officer. I wrote out exactly what crimes I saw and gave the reason why I quit the show. They weren’t happy. I had a feeling they wanted me back in jail.

Have you stopped smoking pot these days?

No. I smoke it now. I broke my fast of not doing it. I was at Hunter S. Thompson’s house, so I had to. I felt his ghost put the joint in my mouth and light it up. Do you worry about getting busted? I’m aware. I don’t travel with it. I got my medical card. When I travel, all the fans give me presents. I just leave it behind. I tell the conservative talk-show hosts that pot is so readily available now, I would be an idiot to take it on a plane. Fucking Homeland Security is gonna look through it. If I have to quit for good, then okay. I’ve never been addicted to anything other than my old lady.

Back to Scooter Libby.

He was the Achilles’ heel of the Bush Administration. Patrick Fitzgerald did to Scooter what they did to me. He wanted Cheney and the big boys. That administration has broken so many laws—not only American laws, international laws. Their ass is hanging out there for the Hague and the World Court. If I were Cheney, unless he gets indicted before he gets out of office, I wouldn’t travel anywhere after he gets out, because the world is angry. Bush went to war on false pretenses. On lies! They invaded a country, executed the leader that they put in themselves. The Bush Administration, Halliburton and those guys are in it for the bucks. They have no soul and no qualms about what they are doing. We live in a perfect universe, and for every action, there is a reaction. No matter how covert their actions are, that shit will come out eventually. Sometimes it takes a long time. In Bush and Cheney’s case, it’s instant.

Why do you think Cheney shot his best friend in the face? I’ll tell you why: demons. When you allow yourself to be absent of goodness, then you are a receptacle for bad demons. Humans are put on this earth as a test. When you get lots of things thrown at you—like the wealth that Halliburton can throw in front of Cheney, or the Arabs can throw in front of Bush—that’s a lot of wealth, and if you are godless in your heart and go for that, you are wide open for the demons. And the demons fuck with you!

Will Bush get away with it?

You gotta have faith. The universe is perfect. To go through life, you have to be in balance. We are all governed by gravity. What happens to these people when they get off balance? Bad things start happening. You don’t have to worry about Bush getting away with anything. Nobody gets away with anything. You think O.J. is going to get away with anything? You think Libby or Cheney are going to get away with anything? (Laughs.) Those guys are suffering like you wouldn’t believe. Can you imagine what it is like in that White House right now? Nothing is working for those guys. It’s demons. They fuck up everything. That’s a demon’s job.

What is your final wish?

HUSTLER has got this first. When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes divided amongst all the growers and put into pot plants so there will be a new strain of Chong Gold, man. “Hey, try this: It’s Chongo!”

SOFIA
ISSUE: December 2007
HOMETOWN: Atlanta
AGE:24
BIRTH SIGN: Taurus
HEIGHT:5-7

This stunning Southern belle is anything but demure. “I absolutely and positively love oral sex,” Sofia declares in a syrupy drawl. “There’s nothing hotter than when a guy goes down on me, burying his face in my moist mound. I’m telling you that a man who knows how to eat my Georgia peach is a man I’ll keep around forever!”

How did Sofia, who always has a hankering to return the favor, end up in our legendary publication? “I let a beau talk me into it,” she replies. “He loved looking at my body and always said I could be in HUSTLER. So I went for it. Ironically, he became really jealous when I showed him my test shots, and we broke up. Oh well, his loss. Now I’m free to date. Hey, maybe one of your readers is interested? If so, please have him call me!” How about one of our editors, Sofia? Actually, we can’t do that, can we? Bummer!

Softening the blow, we ask Sofia (she of the magnificent bum) to divulge her future plans. “Wow! I never really think about that,” the Dixie darling coos. “My life is good. I get to model a little, party a little and travel a little. Like everyone else, I’d love to be famous, but I don’t know what for. I guess I’ll just see what happens and enjoy the ride.”

PHOTOSHOOT: Going Down South
PHOTOGRAPHER: Mark Lit

All models appearing on this site are 18 years of age and older – 2257 Compliant