Hustler Magazine Features

From Sights & Sounds
in HUSTLER MAGAZINE – February 2010

BROKENCYDE
I’m Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It!
If AFI and Lil Jon had unprotected drunken sex in an alley and later had a kid (addicted to cough medicine), it would be Brokencyde. Their fucked-up debut disc is a brilliant mix of crunk and screamo perfect for you and your bastard kids.

AMANDA BLANK
I Love You
Look out, Peaches! Another horny electro chick is taking over! Amanda Blank’s flawless dance disc is a sexed-up mix of computer- driven beats, New Wave rhythms and vintage funk that is sure to get your ass sweating.

EXENE CERVENKA
Somewhere Gone
As lead singer of L.A. punk rock outfit X, Exene is a legendary music pioneer. The woman can do no wrong in our eyes. Her newest solo disc (her first since 1991) is a dreamy (yet edgy), heartfelt, country-tinged affair with moments of bliss and brilliance.

LA COKA NOSTRA
A Brand You Can Trust
Hip-hop is back, motherfuckers! Raw, rough and ready, the debut CD from this L.A. collective is the best thing to come out of rap since Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. The group is made up of House of Pain (Everlast, Danny Boy and DJ Lethal) with guests Ill Bill, Slaine and Snoop Dogg.

ANVIL
This Is Thirteen
The hapless stars of the greatest heavy metal documentary of all time return! Their most-even studio CD to date is a solid blast of hard rock packed with slamming drums and crunchy guitars.

DENNIS DIKEN WITH BELL SOUND
Late Music
The drummer of New Jersey rockers the Smithereens was born too late. He really should have been part of the ’60s. Diken’s love of ’60s rock, the Beach Boys and Spector’s Wall of Sound permeates his solo disc with Bell Sound. Late Music features harmonies, hooks and guests Jason Faulkner and the Honeys.

GWAR
Lust in Space
Need a kick-your-teeth-in blast of raunch ’n’ roll? You know that you do! Luckily Gwar, who are never ones for subtlety, are back with a hard-core aural assault of cartoon violence and heavy metal madness. Highlights include “Metal Metal Land” and “Make a Child Cry.”

Into the Presence
The drummer has played with both Primus and A Perfect Circle. The singer/guitarist is a respected sessions player with an otherworldly falsetto that will chill you to the bone. The combination is a scary-good blend of progressive rock.

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON
Closer to the Bone
Country legend. Master storyteller. American songwriting genius. Coolest guy in the room. That’s Kris Kristofferson. Stripped down and intense, this disc is packed with country folk tales all filtered through his well-worn voice. Some things get better with age.

REVEREND HORTON HEAT
Laughin’ & Cryin’
Rockabilly redneck rockers don’t release CDs; they put out testimony of booze-soaked misadventures full of party and puke tunes. Shot glass not included.

VARIOUS ARTISTS
Ciao My Shining Star: The Songs of Mark Mulcahy
Miracle Legion/Polaris frontman Mark Mulcahy has influenced everyone from Radiohead’s Thom York to Vic Chesnutt. This tribute disc—which features the aforementioned artists as well as Josh Rouse, Juliana Hatfield, Frank Black and dozens more—helps Mulcahy raise his twin three-year-olds following the sudden death of his wife.

ROSANNE CASH
The List
In 1973, Rosanne Cash’s father handed her a list of vital American songs she should know. No big deal, except her dad was the legendary “Man in Black,” Johnny Cash. This disc draws from that list and features guest vocalists Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello and Jeff Tweedy. The miraculous result would make her dad proud.

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You may purchase the hard copy of the February 2010 Issue of HUSTLER Magazine (with free shipping) at HustlerMagazine.com. Comes with full length DVD and free shipping!

You may purchase a digital copy of the February 2010 Issue of HUSTLER Magazine at UnderCoverMags.com.

BY KEITH VALCOURT

Star Trek: The Next Generation
Complete Series Boldly go where few men have gone before, only this time with somewhat better special effects. Captain Jean-Luc Picard is on the bridge, navigating through the series’ great seven seasons.


Genesis: 1976-1982
This awesome collection, with two others to follow, offers five of the group’s classic albums in two-disc box sets with bonus material and DVDs. Featured here are Genesis’s breakthrough release Abacab, as well as Duke, Wind & Wuthering, …And Then There Were Three… and Trick of the Tail.


The X Files: The Ultimate Collection
The truth is in here! All nine TV seasons and the feature film this groundbreaking paranormal thriller inspired are under one roof. Get ready to spend more quality time with Mulder, Scully, Cigarette Smoking Man, the Lone Gunmen and an army of aliens.


The Johnny Cash Show: The Best of Johnny Cash 1969-1971
The legendary Man in Black and all his friends are back! Culling material from Cash’s electrifying TV show, this two- DVD set features performances from a who’s who of music icons, notably Jerry Lee Lewis, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles.


007: James Bond
Ultimate Collector’s Set True, die-hard James Bond fans prefer the films starring Sean Connery, but if you want to see every “shaken and not stirred” moment, here you go. Besides the aforementioned Scotsman, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and even Daniel Craig all appear as secret agent 007. This set is packed with so many extra bells and whistles, even Q would approve.


Bob Dylan: Dylan
Just in time for the biopic celebrating the life of the folk god comes this deluxe, three-CD box set. A truly comprehensive best-of, Dylan includes mini-LP sleeves, collectible poster cards and full album art.

OZZY OSBOURNE:
Black Rain

The “Prince of Darkness” sounds revived and reinvigorated on his new CD. Although none of the tracks measure up to his early solo work, it’s a solid effort. At the very least it reminds us that Ozzy is not just the star of a goofy reality show, but is still the voice of rock ‘n’ roll!

These California rockers ditch the rap/metal style that made them stars with stunningly powerful and bombastic results. While some tracks border on Depeche Mode worship, the overall disc is a decent-sounding endeavor.

Although he is best known for playing Spence, the pudgy sidekick on the mainstream sitcom King of Queens , Oswalt is a sick bastard. The alternative comic (whatever that means) delivers this very funny new CD and DVD packed with uncensored attacks on everything from KFC to Paris Hilton.

When Rick James died in 2004, he was enjoying a resurgence in popularity and recording like a madman. The first of what promises to be several posthumous discs finds the funkmaster in a mellow, romantic mood with seduction on his mind. Highlights include “Taste” and “Stroke.”

Best known for her 1980s hits “Luka” and “Tom’s Diner” (with DNA), folk/rock singer Vega has turned out a disc of sultry and seductive tunes. Beauty & Crime is sure to impress (and maybe help you undress) that cynical girl you’ve been chasing for months. Highlights include “Zephyr & I” and “Pornographer’s Dream.”

Returning to form after a ten-year hiatus is the original lineup of C.H. (minus drummer Paul Hester, who committed suicide in 2005). The band’s latest CD is packed with hummable pop gems that are sure to garner more critical acclaim and fan adoration.

VIDEO REVIEW BY K.K. LE ROQUE

This Month, instead of showcasing just one or two actresses’ risqué résumés of nude scenes, we focus on what many of us regard as the most flesh-tastic flick of all time. This campy cult classic boasts more uncovered boobs per minute than any other film since the invention of the movie camera: Showgirls.

Directed by Paul Verhoeven (Basic Instinct, Robocop, Total Recall, Black Book ) and written by the king of mainstream sleaze, Joe Eszterhas (Basic Instinct, Sliver, Flashdance ), this much-maligned offering is packed with more peaks than any mountain range you’ve ever seen.

The 1995 box-office bomb stars a young and hungry Elizabeth Berkley, who apparently had no choice but to shed her goody-goody image. Before top-lining Showgirls , her biggest credit was a turn as Jessica “Jessie” Spano on the Saturday-morning kids TV show Saved by the Bell. Ironically, Berkley wasn’t the producers’ first choice for wannabe Nomi Malone. Drew Barrymore was originally tapped to portray the stripperturned- starlet. We’re pretty sure that Barrymore—already an established star when Showgirls went into production— wouldn’t have committed to the role like the desperate-for-fame Berkley did.

If seeing the gorgeous blonde topless, bottomless, giving lap dances, working the pole and engaging in simulated sex (in no less than a dozen scenes) is not reason enough to love this film, you also get to see a bunch of anonymous bare-breasted beauties jiggling about in a bunch of production numbers.

Then there’s Gina Gershon. Yes, that Gina Gershon, the tawny bombshell with the pouty lips and penchant for onscreen lesbian lip-locks! Remember Bound? In Showgirls, Gershon—cast as Cristal Connors, the bitchy prima donna of the hottest topless revue on the Las Vegas Strip—is the object of everyone’s desire. The smoldering vixen prances and dances (sans top), and yes, she enjoys a passionate makeout session with halfnaked eager beaver Berkley. Watching Gershon in action, you’re glad the producers didn’t get their first choice, an already-past-her-prime Madonna, to play Cristal.

The laughable plot takes Nomi through the sleazy underbelly of Vegas strip clubs and showrooms. Eventually, she becomes Sin City’s biggest star by pushing Cristal down a flight of stairs.

What else can we say about this must-have DVD? Tits! Boobs! Milk bags! Well, that, and it costars Kyle MacLachlan of Twin Peaks, Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives fame. Did we mentions tits? Finally, thanks to the fine folks at MGM Pictures for providing us with a bevy of steamy images.

We hope you have enjoyed this extra-long look at the most breastacular film ever to grace the silver screen. The new “Fully Exposed” edition of Showgirls is now available on DVD for you to own and savor again and again. And dare we say it? Again! Remember, every month HUSTLER delivers the best in cinematic skin. Let us know what you think by e-mailing us at NakedCelebs@LFP.com.