GEEZER’S BUZZING TEACUP
A SENIOR CITIZEN TRIES A YOUNG HOOKER AND HER PATIENCE.
from Tails of the Bunny Ranch
in HUSTLER Magazine April 2009
Okay, once I had this really old man. Usually I can get a guy off in about ten minutes, but this guy? It took almost forever because he was so slow and so old. Anyway, when I first met him, he said he didn’t want to book that day and that he’d drop by the next day. Then he called in the next day and set things up for the day after that only to keep postponing his party for an entire week.
Right in the middle of an awesome party with a real stud, I was told that the geezer had arrived and wanted to see me. I was also told, once my younger customer’s time was up, to act like I’d been asleep, because he was very specific that he didn’t want me if I had been with somebody else. I mean, come on! Where did he think he was? The high school prom? But it was his money, and I’m always ready to play along with a gentleman’s fantasy or request. Pretending to be sleepy, I walked into the parlor, and the fuddy-duddy and I negotiated a price for what’s called an “out date.” That’s when a customer takes one of the girls into town for a breakfast, lunch or dinner date. He still has to pay for her time and all, but a lot of guys like to do that.
After the old man and I had a nice meal at my favorite Carson City restaurant, he drove me back to the BunnyRanch. I booked him for another hour, and that’s when the hard work began.
We both undressed, and as the man lay faceup on my bed, I started rubbing and squeezing his noodle. I was concentrating, and all of a sudden I heard something, but it wasn’t the kind of noise a guy normally made in my quarters. In this business you kind of get used to a lot of weird stuff, so I didn’t pay too much attention to it at first. Plus, no matter what I was doing to this old fart, I just couldn’t seem to get a rise out of him…if you know what I mean. I was getting frustrated, and it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing. It just was not happening with this gentleman no matter what I did. In the meantime he continued to make this weird noise.
I looked up and noticed he was sound asleep. The noise? The naked old man on my bed was snoring!
I shook him, and he snapped to, telling me that he sometimes can’t stay awake and that it wasn’t my fault. Duh, no kidding.
Anyway, he said he had “an idea.” Well, it was more than an idea. He reached into his jacket and pulled out this odd-looking device. It sort of looked like a teacup with straps and handles on it, and he wanted me to help put it on his unit. It must have been some kind of antique sex device. I had no idea what I was doing, but he gave me instructions. I eventually strapped it on, and in the middle of this awkward little dance the coot slowly but surely started getting a little harder.
He was almost there when the phone rang. His time was up, and he’d either have to leave pronto or rebook. So close. If I stopped, I’d have to start all over again and have to go through all of this stuff again…and I didn’t want to have to do that. I’ve never wanted to turn down a rebooking, but what are you going to do?
I just wondered how long he’d had that, uh, device of his. It must have had dust from the Eisenhower era. I kept working this guy, and every time I’d have him ready to go, the phone would ring. I swear I was with him for almost five hours, the longest party in my life, but he left happy. And me? Let’s just say I was happy it was over!
Since 1955 the Moonlite BunnyRanch has been servicing horndogs 24/7, 365 days a year. Under flamboyant owner Dennis Hof, the Carson City, Nevada, legal bordello has become internationally famous for its willing women and wild times.
To meet the girls yourself, visit BunnyRanch.com.